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Schrecklich Schöne Zukunft -- Japanische essen mit Pfiff-- two Viennese ads in oneDateline: Friday 20.8.1999 13:40 Location: D381 Budapest Keleti -> Wien Südbf. direct
A stamp in my passport (a bit odd, that, as I didn't get one on entry) and a few km of track from Hegyeshalom, and the aluminum water tanks turned into aluminum windmills, rusty barbed wire into spotless electric fence, Ladas into Audis and Hungary into Austria. A poor country into a rich country... and a rich traveller into a poor one.
Dateline: Friday 20.8.1999 19:23 Location: Heldaplatz, Wien
I visited Wien for all of two days in 1996, but I remember next to nothing for two reasons: #1, I was still sick after catching the flu in Prague, and #2, I was expertly guided around by a native resident, meaning that I had to expend zero effort on finding out where I am, where I want to go and how to get there -- three rather important elements of solo travel.
It started raining in Budapest and it was still raining when I arrived at Wien Westbahnhof. Incorrigible cheap-ass that I am, I decided to circle the city on the S-Bahn (for free with IR) instead of taking the metro straight to Südbahnhof. My rudimentary map seemed to show that the S-Bahn ring is a (Tokyo) Yamanote-like circle, but not so: I ended up having to take 3 different trains (and spend about 2 hours) because each route only covers a fraction of the ring and they come infrequently. (S15 would have taken me there direct, but I just missed one and the next one was 2+ hours later.)
But I got there in the end, transformed my remaining forints into schillings at a horrendous exchange rate (I would've changed in Hungary, but I had to save a few in case the inspectors spotted my IR, which they of course didn't) and headed into the city on foot after zooming to Wien-Mitte. However, before entry into the center (and because it was raining) I performed a rite of purification by taking a ride around the Ring on tram #1. That done, I walked to Stephanplatz, where I'd first emerged from the underground and met Flavia the last time. I still recognized the hideous Gothic contraption that gives the Platz its name, but little else -- even the 1000-schilling Lederhosen ads were unfamiliar. Like last time, Wien struck me as both an open-air museum and overpriced luxury mall, both imposing and monotonous at once. As in Rome, a "systematic study" of the place would take weeks, but I only have an evening. What to do?
Eat râmen! Near Stephanplatz I spotted a Japanese fast-food joint offering a full if somewhat overpriced menu (S198 for 8 pieces of maguro sushi, S26 for a cup of green tea!?). It being a wet and cold day, what could possibly be better than a steaming hot bowl of ramen?
<discontinuity>Well, quite a lot of things, first and foremost a bowl of real ramen, which Akakiko's pathetic offering was not. Half a package of poorly cooked dried egg noodles sitting in a bowl of random spicy (but not in the least dashi-flavored) broth, topped with carrot slices, zucchini and -- the horror! the horror! -- sprigs of parsley! I could have, and have, made better stuff myself. The Asian-but-not-Japanese ("who cares, all slant-eyes look the same anyway!") spoke no Japanese, and while they did bark out "Auf wiedersehen! Danke schön!" at departing customers in a pale imitation of the Japanese ritual, the staff's general attitude -- bang! snatch! crunch! slam! -- was so far from the tiptoed obsequiousness of a real Japanese restaurant that I was tempted to get up and leave. <sigh> Serves me right for not sticking to wurst and wienerschnitzel...
01:30 in the morning. The compartment door opens with a slam and a female border official on leave from Veronica's SS-SM training camp appears.- Österreichische Passportkontroll! Fahrkarten und Passporten, bitte!
The car's German-speakers look at each other blankly and then explain (in German):
- We gave them to the conductor.
Madame Kontroll is unfazed. The tape rewinds: <click> <whirr> <bonk> <click>
- Österreichische Passportkontroll! Fahrkarten und Passporten, bitte!
- I told you, we gave them to the conductor!
- Österreichische-Passport-KONTROLL! Fahrkarten-Und-Passporten-BITTE!!!
But before the robot went berserk, Guru Conductor defused the situation by tapping a reset sequence on the android's shoulder and we were permitted to go back to sleep.
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